‘KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.’
It is 6:00 AM in the freakin’ morning. Who could possibly be at my door this early? “Who is it?” I snap at the door. “Greg from Apple Rose Express, I am delivering your dining room table that you ordered.” A man replies. “This early in the damn morning? You gotta be kidding me! Hold on a second, I have to put some clothes on.” I rush back to my room, stumbling over Darren’s toys due to the crust still perched in the cracks of my eyes. I put on whatever I can find, which ends up being a pair of leggings and a white wife beater with no bra. I can’t find a bra.
I hurry back to open the door and I am shocked at this handsome ass man standing at my door. “Good morning, I’m so sorry to wake you Ms…,” the sexy specimen says. “Ms?” he speaks again. “Ummm, Mrs?” oh my gosh he is so gorgeous, I think to myself. Wait, is he asking me a question? “I am so sorry! I am still half asleep, you can just call me Tiffany. I actually forgot that I requested an early delivery, but I didn’t know that y’all deliver at the ass crack of dawn!” I reply, once I stop drooling over him.
“Yeah, we try to get a head start to make sure that we fulfill everyone’s morning requests. Did you just move here?” he asks. “No, I’ve been here for 2 years now, but I am just now getting around to decorating. I just got my master’s so I am a full-time therapist now. I also need to go check on my son, so we should probably speed this up.” I just told him way too much information and now I am rushing him! What is up with me? Maybe it’s because I forgot that I don’t have a bra on and I’m getting cold, I don’t know. Did I mention that he’s fine? “Of course. Where and how do you want it,” he responds. “Excuse me? Put what? I’m not sure what you are expecting, but I’m a Christian woman and I’m packing so don’t try…” I start to pop off. “Ms.Tiffany I’m talking about your dining room set! You requested that we deliver it and put it together for you! Sorry for the misunderstanding.”
Y’all, I am so embarrassed! Am I that hot and bothered that I am losing my mind? Why did my mind get so freaky and why am I still being mean? I have to go cool down, so I tell him where I want everything setup and leave him in the dining room alone. I decided to tend to the baby to refocus my thought process. “Get it together bitter-nasty, I whisper to myself. He winds up letting himself out because I decided to hide away in Darren’s room. I am so ashamed.
When I finally come back to check out my new dining set, I see a bouquet of red & white roses in a crystal vase and a note that reads:
Sorry for the confusion this morning. I will be sure to report all of your complaints to management. Your next delivery will be on me. Just to be clear, that means you won’t have to pay.
P.S The roses are our company’s signature ‘thank you’ to our valued customers. Have a blessed day Ms. Tiffany Henson.
That was so sweet, but I will not be requesting anymore deliveries from that company; not because of my uncalled for complaints, but because I am too embarrassed to face that man again. I have to be honest though, it was nice to wake up to a generous man for once. Oh well, let me go take a cold shower and get me and my 3 year old baby ready for our Friday.
2 years later and I still don’t quite have it together.